


histoire

by StarflowerSea



Series: Weekly Challenge Works [5]
Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Advice, Brotherly Bonding, Brothers, Fantôme Iris - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Songwriting, lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarflowerSea/pseuds/StarflowerSea
Summary: Struggling with conflicting emotions regarding Fantôme Iris's future, Felix turns to Gilbert for advice.
Series: Weekly Challenge Works [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901497
Kudos: 10





	histoire

Felix gazed out over the horizon, his mind swirling with thoughts.

It was their last chance to reach the top, their last chance at reaching their dreams. They had to make the absolute most of it, no matter what.

A gentle breeze ruffled Felix’s hair as he turned and walked back into his room, its serenity soothing the ache a touch. For a moment he halted and gazed around silently. In just a few weeks, he and the other members of Fantôme Iris would leave Nagoya and move to Tokyo to participate in the Live Royale Festival. The thought of it was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking, and yet simultaneously far away as to be out of a dream. To participate in such a prestigious event, competing against four of the other top bands in Japan for a single spot overseas…it was almost insane to fathom. And yet that was precisely where they were headed.

Felix sat down at his desk, his eyes flitting to the notebook and pen on one side. Carefully he pulled the notebook over and flipped to an empty page. Picking up his pen, he stared down at the page, searching for the right words.

What words were there?

Ever since Fantôme Iris received word that they were heading to participate in the Live Royale Festival, Felix was well aware that this was the absolute last shot they had. They were not young anymore – they were well into their late twenties and thirties, adults fully immersed in the working world. For them to uproot their lives like this…

From the start, Felix wanted to write a song that incorporated every single member’s feelings. Yet right now, nothing was coming – just like every single other time he had tried.

Perhaps it was because this time around, he was not speaking from his stage persona – not FELIX, the vampire king striving with his underlings to coexist with humanity, but rather as his true self – Felix, the foreigner who moved across the continent in the search for something more. To speak from such personal and raw feelings was nearly terrifying, yet he willed himself to do so, if not for this piece’s sake, then for everyone else’s.

Even then, the thought sent a sharp, needle-like pain through his heart.

For the next two hours Felix tried unsuccessfully to write. Everything he tried was too flowery, fell short, or rang hollow – if they came out at all. Frustration bubbled up in his gut, combined with pangs of guilt that gnawed incessantly at him. Compared to the other songs he had penned, this was far out of his league, if he dared say impossible. It was like there was a huge gulf standing between his feelings and his ability to convey them.

“Felix?”

Felix glanced up to see Gilbert standing at the door to his room with a concerned expression.

“Gil-san?” Felix didn’t bother hiding the confusion in his voice.

“That look on your face…I know it all too well.” Gilbert stepped into the room, his expression softening as his gaze fell to Felix’s notebook. “You’re still struggling with the song, aren’t you?”

“Perceptive as ever.” Felix nodded with a quiet sigh. “Writing personal emotions is…much harder than I anticipated. Nothing that comes out feels right.”

Gilbert nodded sympathetically. “After all, you are writing about a pivotal point in your life where everything is about to be uprooted – where your fates hang on a single thread. It’s only natural that you’d feel apprehension.”

“I suppose you could put it that way,” Felix mused.

Sighing, Felix stood, even as he felt tempted to tear the page full of scribbles out, crumple it up, and hurl it across the room. His stomach further sank, anxiety and worry gnawing at him.

“Maybe you should take a break,” Gilbert said. “Some tea should help clear your mind.”

Normally the thought of teatime was appetizing, but this time it barely stirred Felix from his stupor. Regardless, he nodded at Gilbert with a wan smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Together the two made their way out to the veranda, where a tea set for two was waiting patiently. Quietly Felix sat down, staring into the dark liquid swirling in the cup. He carefully picked it up, the delicate porcelain burning his fingers as he lifted the cup to his lips. A single sip sent a wave of heat across his tongue, the flavors tepid in comparison.

Again his mind wandered. The song continued to gnaw at him, tugging at his thoughts like a puppy at a rope. Bitterness lingered on his taste buds – whether it was from the tea or it was his imagination, he did not know.

Slowly Felix turned towards the azure sky, squinting as the sun blinded him. How painfully bright and hot was – just like the emotions swirling inside of him.

“The sun…” The words slipped from Felix’s lips in a low murmur.

“Hm?”

Felix blinked as he realized Gilbert was staring at him. “Ah, it’s nothing.”

“I admit, I’ve never seen you act like this.” An edge of concern was working its way into Gilbert’s voice. “Whatever it is, I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

“Thanks.” Felix paused, searching for words. “It’s just…The Live Royale Festival is our last chance to reach our dreams. Unlike the others, we’re not youths. Rather, we’re full-fledged adults fully incorporated into society, well aware of its burdens on us.” He looked over at Gilbert, his voice quiet. “And now we’re going to have to uproot our lives for the sake of this competition, in which we’re likely going to be at a disadvantage. After all, barring our age, our musical genre is also one of the least popular.”

Gilbert nodded empathetically. “You’re worried Fantôme Iris won’t make it.”

Felix bit back a bitter chuckle. “When compared to the others, it’s like trying to fly towards the sun. We’re only going to wither from the heat and fade away long before we reach it.” Again Felix trailed off, his stomach knotting. “Do we even have a chance?”

As the words slipped from his mouth, the pit in his stomach deepened. The tea was an endless void as he stared into it, his morose reflection gazing back at him. Sighing, he downed the rest of his tea in one gulp, praying its burning heat would calm him some – or at least provide some other simulation besides the knife-like pain in his gut. Despite this the rawness of his emotions still stung, pricking him through the waves of heat traveling down his throat.

“You should take that chance.”

Felix glanced up at Gilbert’s words.

“You and Fantôme Iris have come this far,” Gilbert continued, a soft hint of pride in his eyes. “You’re all doing things many of our peers our age wouldn’t think of dreaming of. It’s okay to feel the way you feel – after all, you’re correct in that you’re at a disadvantage. The younger bands would grab the audience’s eye more easily and be more relatable than Fantôme Iris will ever be.”

The steely edge of Gilbert’s words cut deep into Felix’s chest, eliciting a silent grunt as Felix lowered his head, jaw clenched.

Gilbert’s voice softened noticeably, like sunlight filtering through fog. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance. It doesn’t invalidate your journey. If anything, it makes your journey all the more admirable – you’ve come so far not just as a band, but as individual people as well. I’m immensely proud of you all.”

Felix could only stare at Gilbert, at a loss for words.

“Take the emotions you’re feeling right now and pour them into song. All of your memories, your bonds with your bandmates, the steps you have taken in your journey. Take pride in all of it, and unleash it to the world.”

“Gil-san…”

“Take that leap of faith.” Gilbert gave Felix an encouraging smile. “After all, you won’t know until you try.”

A smile drifted across Felix’s face as ideas began to take form in his mind. It was as if the fog shrouding him had lifted, unveiling a new path ahead.

“Thank you, Gil-san.” Felix smiled at Gilbert. “Your words mean a lot not just to me, but to all of Fantôme Iris.”

“I’m glad I could help.” Gilbert’s voice was warm as he smiled back. “I know that you can do it. You were always the kind of person to take challenges in life head-on, after all.”

“To take them head-on…”

The words resounded in Felix’s mind as he stood. The path before him seemed to grow brighter, as if beckoning him forward.

“Looks like you’re out if your writer’s block,” Gilbert said.

“Yeah.” Felix nodded as relief washed over him. “Thank you, Gil-san. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Gilbert shook his head with a smile. “You give me far too much credit. All I did was encourage you – you were the one who drew out the light within yourself.”

“But without your encouragement, I wouldn’t have made it this far,” Felix replied. “You deserve some of the credit too.”

Gilbert chuckled softly. “If you say so.”

The two smiled at each other, warm and easygoing. It was as if a weight had lifted off of Felix’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Gil-san. For everything.”

With that Felix turned and walked back inside, his pace quickening as he returned to his room. His heart began to race with that familiar anticipation, the ideas in his mind swirling thicker and thicker as he sat down and began to write. The path ahead shone with a clear, beautiful light as the words flooded from him like a river breaking a dam. He knew that he could hold his head high as he walked down this path with the rest of Fantôme Iris at his side.

Together, they could do anything – he was sure of it.


End file.
